How does it FEEL to be Shannon today? EXPECTANT. I feel a bit high today. Perhaps it’s because I feel the slight accomplishment of learning to forgo my preferences.
When I jump out of the shower, because I’m running late and I can hear a kid pounding her fist and moaning into her math book; that is a signal for me to GIVE UP my preference of getting anywhere on time and offer help.
When my partner wants me to crawl into bed with him, and I say “no” for 2 reasons. 1 is that I am programmed to submit and and obey, something learned in religion....and the other is that I truly want to meditate in order to quiet my mind and drop down into my heart....where the wholeness of Spirit and my spirit dance. I am giving up my preference of wanting to please in order to spend time with my father.
As I write this, I am at the DMV. What “was” a 30 minute appointment with my son for his drivers test has turned into a 4 hour fiasco of Covid screening, missed paperwork, and an overcrowded parking lot filled with crying children, and frustrated dmv workers.
Surprisingly enough, great grace envelops me. Be sure, this isn’t me....it’s grace. Had this happened yesterday my mind would be spinning with thoughts that this fiasco had been brought on because of my sin. Harmful teachings embedded in the mind are hard to dismiss.
4 hours later and no chairs inside or outside the DMV, I turned a corner in the parking lot and found this place to sit.
I would like to think this chair was waiting just FOR ME.
Forgoing preferences more often than not yields little surprises. And its the little things in life that bring about the greatest reminders that we are loved and in a continuous divine dance with love itself. ❤️