Last week on my 51st bday, we moved out of my partners house back to the love shack. Emphasis on the shack and not so much the love. If you were 2 young girls would you want to move from a palace to a shack?
For us grown women, wHo have been with armored hearted men, we would choose living in a gutter with joy, than all the luxuries wealth can afford. And sometimes us women (ME), stay years longer than we should, hoping for change.
I failed to yield to the promptings of spirit. And rather than pain, blame or shame, love gently beckons me back to the path. MY PATH. The path of kids first, rather than partner. So I screwed up. I failed. But how much I have learned! The greatest knowing that came from this is knowing and believing the great spirit that lives within me can and should be trusted. I know by how it feels. Yes, it felt horrible to leave, but I knew ultimately it was the right thing to do. My mind said, “you are crazy!” But my heart said, “come over here.’
Immersing myself in the writings of Brian Mclearn I am understanding and yearning for this broad and expansive way of relating to others. He says Christian’s know how to do a few things well, and one of them is being well tuned to hostility towards others of different faiths. Rather than being hostile and defensive of others beliefs he suggests this practice.
You Muslim sister, because I love Jesus, I love you too. Because I love Jesus, you are bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. Because I love Jesus, I stand with you in any injustice directed toward you. Becaise I love Jesus I honor and stand in solidarity with you. Because I love Jesus, I will have you to my home as you have me to your home, perhaps we can learn about one another’s faith. Because I love Jesus, I long for us to live in harmony.
We don’t have to give up our faith, as I have done. And we don’t have to be hostile as I have done too in the past. Rather we can hold to our beliefs while honoring and experiencing others. Before long we will come to see, there is no “other” but only an “us.” ❤️
Little Olivia (pictured above) is crazy over horses! She reads everything she can find about raising and training them. She watches these Natural Horsemanship videos and shares all the deliciousness with me and then we hunker down to watch a nightly episode of Heartland on Netflix.
She was frustrated at the amount of time it is taking to get her own horse and while we were in bed last night asked me how to get a horse faster. I told her she is so focused on her “lack“ of horse that she’s not allowing the “fulfillment“ of her horse. Jesus said to BELIEVE before you receive it. You must see yourself with your horse, you must feel you with your horse, you must dream about your horse, as if you can trust the creator that it is ALREADY DONE.
But she waivers, I waiver too. And so we think on another topic that is gentler to believe.
We play “tag team” a game which I made up. I’ll say “I love going to the stables.“ She’ll say, “I love horses, I love their smell.” I’ll say, “I love to clean stalls.” She’ll kick her legs and say, “Mommy, I want my own horse!” I remind her she is not ready for that statement, it’s too far of a jump from “I love horses” to “”where is my horse.” For when she is saying “Where is my horse” god only hears her cry of LACK and not the believing of its fulfillment. Universal laws can be hard. What Jesus taught was hard. If it was easy Christian’s would be doing it, and evidence shows they are not. But we are learning, and resting in this grace. I am thankful. ❤️