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Awakening an Alpha....

I rise while it is still dark, which is nothing to boast about since we don’t see the light here in So. Cal till about 6:45 am. None the less....my partner and I do rise early....about 5am. He doesn’t leave for work till 7 or 8 or 9, but we really try to make it by 7. When you are the boss you can do that.

I have joined up with a man who is an entrepreneur, and, he calls himself the locomotive. A man who is extremely Alpha doesn’t mull over awareness or penetrating my heart with the deepest of passion.

Much frustration has consumned me, to say the least. I‘ve broken up with this man 25 times (that‘s my crazy!) and he can’t stay away from me (that’s his crazy!)


Going a bout with Religious Tramautic Syndrome I’m now in a great recovery group called JourneyFree.org


So back to my locomotive man. How do you TEACH a leader? How do you train a man who is self-made and has never needed anyone? Yes....we all know no one is self-made, but my man is learning.

I wanted to share with you women how to be a seed that is able to incarnate within your partner.

When I am angry 😤, rather than holding a grudge I STOMP OFF and go somewhere where he is not. I need to let off some steam but I don’t have to manifest bitch. Allowing the lid to gently rumble, I am able to remove myself before the pressure becomes unbearable.


Because I am playful most of the time (I wasn‘t born this way, I trained myself this way) my man LOVES any opportunity to play along with his sexy and sweet woman. Alpha men, entrepreneurs, find it difficult to play and enjoy life so freely. That is why these kind of men find such RELIEF in a smiling, sweet and playful woman, she is everything they wish they could express and feel.

Sometimes I even “start a fight” when I feel he is consumned with wordly things rather than family. Within minutes he is grabbing me and telling me to knock it off, and I tell him I wouldn’t have even started anything if it wasn’t for his pissy attitude. All this is being said while he’s usually pinning me down on the bed or I’m pinning him by straddling his thighs. AND WE ARE LAUGHING.

I am far from being where I want to be. I want to look at him and him be just as passionate about god and love making and being present as I am. But then I will be having a relationship with myself and I really do get stinking tired of myself.


But the honest truth is....when I mind my OWN business and not try to change him, but rather do my own thing and INVITE him to PLAY with me....he follows and follows with a ravishing hunger.

May I ENCOURAGE you women to MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. If you’re feeling stuck, talk to an older wise women, go out with a friend to the beach and be silly, start your garden, start dancing, start meditating, start waking up with crazy appreciation and awe, get a hobby, get a pet, BUT DON’T TRY AND CHANGE YOUR MAN. It NEVER works (I’ve tried) and only causes each of your hearts to close.

Will my man ever be the exact man I want him to be? Hmmmm. Good question. I guess it’s none of my business. In this moment I am being me. Silly, playful and sweet. If I’m doing me, while holding to my dreams of what I want in a man....if I’m doing me, if I’m doing me, if I’m paying attention to my connection to god....then that is all that matters.

But will he ever be the exact man I want??? Good question. I guess it’s none of my business. My business is to INVITE and ENCOURAGE him to play with me.

I‘ll tell you this, his family says to me, “I can’t believe my Pa would do this”..... they are referencing his willingness to meditate with me, sit on the grass with me, and take me to thrift stores in his 80k truck .... and my man is surprised too at his willingness to follow every move I ask him to make.

PLAY WOMEN PLAY! Our men need to be taught, and who better to teach them than their sweet, sexy, and PLAYful lover! They will follow! ❤️

Dark rich bone broth cooked for 48 hours. COLLAGEN please help me look a little better than my age. 😜

On my walk I found this plant growing from within a deep rock. Such life can grow even when there is no soil. Nature always serves to teach me spiritual truths. 🤔

I had a vine growing but wanted to re-decorate. So I made up these little pots from other plants around the house. The vine went in my sunroom. When I want to add a fresh look to my home I just rearrange pictures, plants, throw blankets and pillows. 🏡 And when I want a completely NEW look, I go to garage sales.

Eggs from our ladies that I am thankful for. ❤️


Below picture is Olivia and her Guinea Pig Guapo. 🐈


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