Are you ladies working out? Are you drinking your Sexy Momma Jedi 🍹 Drinks? May I encourage you sisters….you know it’s true….when you look good, you feel good. When you feel good you act better. ✌🏽
I’ve gained a bit of weight since quitting the gym, but I am still working out doing HIIT training and using my X3 which have cut my workouts to 20 minutes rather than 3 hours (2 hours socializing and 1 hour actually lifting.) If I keep this up, I will be bikini ready come spring. I don’t want to look 20, but I do want to look freaking awesome, healthy, and natural for a woman in my 50’s.
Last night 10 year old Olivia crawled into bed with me and slowly slid her arm down my pants as she often does. With her forearm in between the elastic of my sweats and skin, her little fingers began to knead my belly as she asked, “Mom is this your gut or your boobs?”
3 immediate thoughts came to me.
Will my future man want to f%^+ me?😎
Then I remembered, a good man, a man who loves you… he won’t care one bit about a little extra skin. Being older I know this. I used to have a partner who would drag his fingers across my sagging breasts and stretch marked belly and he would do this sometimes for hours, just admiring me.
In the beginning of our relationship I would make excuses for my lack of pussy toning and jiggley inner thighs. One day he told me it really bothers him when I make continual comments about my body. He said it really turns him off and that I have the most beautiful body he has ever seen and that he wished I would love myself as much as he did.
From that day forward I started THANKING my body. When I take off my clothes before a shower I stand in the full length mirror and speak to hair, thanking it for staying full and not shedding. I speak to my breasts that have feed 7 children over a 23 year span of continual breastfeeding….thank you girls! I lay hands on my womb and yoni and thank these parts for the life, joy, and pleasure they have given me. And I lay hands across my heart, thanking it for its expansiveness and ability to hold so much.
The last 9 years have been very hard. But my failures, my complete freaking, fall on my face failures, have been my GREATEST TEACHERS. I can’t believe how much I have grown and it wouldn’t have been if it wasn’t for the contrast. Contrast still takes getting used to for me, I recoil at the thought of it because of how it feels. But contrast dear sisters is our teacher. We wouldn’t know what is right for us, if we didn’t experience the contrast of knowing what is wrong for us. Now, I WELCOME contrast and eagerly invite its work in my life.
Having come out of religion but not spirituality, this is my favorite quote.
“If the you of five years ago doesn’t consider the you of today a heretic, you are not growing spiritually.” Perhaps C.S. Lewis
I then consider myself by definition, a complete heretic who is head over heels in love with the divine. And her kids. And her home. And her neighbors. And her family. And her friends. And her body. EVERY part of her body. 🥰
In the past, and a bit still, I’ve had difficulty with my mind. I’ve been dupped my entire life that my thoughts are true and valid. Nothing could be further from the truth.
To remedy this, I ask myself several times throughout the day, “Are you aware?“ This question immediately stops the chatter of the monkey mind and reminds me that I am NONE of my thoughts, rather I am ONLY AWARENESS looking at all my thoughts of worry, fear, and frustration. When we know who we are, anxiousness is dissolved, for there is nothing to worry about. We are not of this world. We are not our body or our mind…we are the awareness or consciousness or spirit who sees from outside of our body.
This concept has taken me years to grasp. I’ve studied and learned about mindfulness but one can learn about spiritual things all she wants and may never find peace. To understand, possibly the only way to ever understand, is through experience.
For the last 14 days I’ve been rising and writing 10 things I am grateful for. My girls are doing it too! Everything I touch, or see, if I can remember, I speak THANKFULNESS ALOUD! I want my kids to hear and see so that they can too, see the magic of THANKFULNESS working in my life and want it themselves.
Praise is a huge delight for me and I find when I am thankful I naturally want to sing.
May you enjoy this song along with your children. Don’t be shy to cry, fall on your knees or lift your hands in gratitude. Our children need to see our passion for the divine because this connection is what every human is seeking, and our children will one day too seek on their own and they will remember their mommy and daddy on the floor, prostrate, giving praise.
We are all doing better than we think. We are all greatly loved and supported. We are all CONNECTED to one another. We are
are all CONNECTED to one. We are all CONNECTED to. We are all CONNECTED. We are all. We are. WE. ❤️