Despite the failings and limitations Shannon perceived in herself, she is LIBERATED BY ***god’s FAITH IN HER.***
god has SO MUCH faith in me. I perceive myself often as nothing but failure after fucking failure. I am learning, sorry to my kids that your momma is just learning about life at age 50.
I have trouble listening to my thoughts and acting as if they are true. I am learning that my thoughts are not me....my thoughts are only observations.
If I can catch my craziness (spinning out of control commentary!) when it rears its ugliness....this is a little practice that has helped me, maybe it could help you.
I go somewhere quiet like outside in the grass, close my eyes, breathe a minute or so and ask my spirit (which is an extension of god) what “it” thinks about a person. It always answers the same, and quickly.....my spirit views with the eyes of love always. My mind views with the eyes of condemnation, pain, shame and judgement, always. As I participate in this hearing, right away my shoulders relax and often I can hear my back crack...liberation is extended to me throughout my body and soul when my mind is (for a bit) given freedom.
In a nutshell....ask your mind what it thinks about a person or situation. Then ask your spirit. Usually they are always opposed. My hope for me is that one day (as I continue my practice of prayer and meditation) my heart and mind will be in closer unison. ❤️
I‘d like to stay here for longer than I do, in the allowing mode. But many times a day I have to keep re-newing my thoughts, choosing better feeling ones and remembering the aspirations that spirit has put within me. Allowing me to think on thoughts that are of success, laughter, joy, and just imagining how I want my life to go, how it feels, seeing myself the way I desire myself to be....this allowing sure beats resisting. Resisting gets me no where except the same thoughts giving way to the same actions day after day after day.
At one time in my life I had given thought to becoming a Nun, but I didn’t want to become Catholic. So much easy and flow to life I could have had. And...I could do what I love to do all day and night, which is to marvel at this great mystery of love.
Hard things take time. Impossible things take a little longer. I’m in a seemingly impossible place spiritually, but as I learn more, commune with spirit more, I am liberated more.
And then our feminine! Our beautiful feminine always wants MORE! I know I am always requesting more learning, more hearing, more time to myself, more love, deeper conversations about real things such as love, god, partnerships, homemaking, hospitality, neighbors, and how to live in a way that the light of creator flows not only to us, but we can be a beacon of light for others that we may lift up and encourage them. I wouldn’t change the splendor of my femininity....I really do love myself. The ways of us females are nothing less than alluring.
Despite my shortcomings, which are daily and many, I find my soul‘s liberation in knowing I am loved by love itself. For there is nothing greater, or no one greater who has shown such devotion and passion for this woman. Love is in you dear sister. This spirit which is god itself, lives in you. You need not do anything and it is there. If you recognize it, play with it, and listen to it, in your own way, cultivate your own spiritual practice....love will meet you there. For love never fails. ❤️