Being in the ministry as an employee, Eric and I heard all kinds of stories of difficult marriages. We were not marriage counselors, we were Jr. High Directors, so I guess many parents felt comfortable in sharing their troubles with us.
I know I don't have to, but I want to say that Eric and I (if you would ask him he would say the same) had a very good marriage. I decided to leave as my belief in Biblical Patriarchy is no longer existence. He would not give up his belief (and that is fine, you cannot change a person) but I was more than ready to give up mine. It no longer served me, and by then I felt it was actually hurting me.
Most marriage problems seem to be 2 things. Sex and Money. Am I right? SO YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE ME EVEN MORE after what I have to say, or YOU WILL PROBABLY HATE ME, hopefully not hate, just not read my stuff anymore!
Most of my marriage I received absolutely horrible advice. I meet only one woman who gave me advice THAT WORKED, and I added to it things I have learned from trial and error. Here we go!!!
!!!DON'T LOOSE your SWEETNESS!!! When you were dating your man, you would dress up, apply a little makeup, wait by the window for his arrival and be EVER SO JOYFUL when the sight of his car arrived! Even if he was 20 minutes late...you DIDN'T care...you just wanted to be with him.
Fast forward. You've been married for a while. When your man arrives home, he is greeted by a woman who looks unkept, (if you're even home!), and UNHAPPY! He walks in and is meet by a PISSED OFF woman, who is dying to unleash the problems of the day on her man.
CHANGE COURSE...I know it takes work to be presentable, especially if you have LOTS of kids. But you can do it! You did it before SEXY WOMAN, you can do it again! So what if you've gained some weight! Your husband WANTS a JOYFUL woman awaiting his arrival! He wants to know that after a long, hard day around jerks he can come home to a SANCTUARY of PEACE. A home where his WIFE loves him and his kids are CRAZY NUTS to see their daddy! A man doesn't care if the house is messy and if you have fat rolls. Your man will see YOUR PRETTY SMILE and FEEL YOUR SWEETNESS!
I have a family member who is an escort. Most of her clients are religious men and believe it or not....they don't want sex ASAP! Some of the men DON'T even want sex! IT'S CRAZY to hear that! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEIR NUMBER ONE REQUEST IS? That a woman would just sit and talk to them! She gets paid to sit and talk and smile and listen and be sweet!
WOMEN! We are BRILLIANT CONVERSATIONALISTS! We love to talk, we want our man's opinion, we want to come up with solutions to solve a problem...SO DO OUR MEN! But we are going about it wrong.
TODAY when your man gets home (actually text him, text him something sexy...give him a LONGING and PASSION to want to come home!) Put on something nice, something pretty, MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, be MINDFULL of your countenance. Remember back to when you used to love your man, how you used to dress, what he liked on you, how he liked your hair! Don't think, "oh we are married now and things change.' WHY!!! STIR UP THE EXCITEMENT! excitement doesn't just come....WE HAVE TO CREATE IT! BANG! MAKE IT HAPPEN WOMAN! Text him a picture of you...something SEXY! MEN ARE VISUAL!
PLEASE do that TODAY! Have fun with it! LIFE IS SOOOOOOOOO GOOD! You should be delighting in your man ALL DAY! OMG! Do you really want to re-kindle something GREAT? Tell your man how much you appreciate his working for his family, tell him how you know the drive is long and far, but he is the man of ALL MEN!
I want to talk about sex. But I gotta go to the gym. The last 2 days I didn't practice intermittent fasting. BUT TODAY I AM ON IT AGAIN, my last meal was at 6pm yesterday. I've drank a ton of water, 1 cup of coffee and I'm doing a fasted cardio, which burns FAT. Today I am SHOULDERS and BICEPS! and, about 15 minutes of treadmill. I do an incline of 10 at 3.7mph and no incline at 5mph. I just go back and forth for those 15 minutes.
PRACTICE SWEETNESS ALL DAY....to your kids and strangers....make it be WHO YOU ARE! Call yourself, "Mommy of SWEETNESS, WIFE OF SWEETNESS, PARTNER of SWEETNESS!" Visualize yourself with your man! What will you do to him tonight?! GO ALL OUT! HAVE ANOTHER HONEYMOON TONIGHT!!!!
ps....your man is not coming home till late? GIVE HIM A REASON TO ***WANT*** TO COME HOME!