My younger 3 children visit their father 3 weekends out of the month. When they are with him he speaks poorly of me TO THEM. I saw that my 8 yog and 12 yob could use some outside help. So they have been going to counseling. My children told the counselor about the words spoken to them and they called CPS. Then I had to call CPS. Then the police showed up and had to talk to all the kids one by one. A few days later CPS showed up and they did the same thing.
So while things have been going CRAZY in the physical realm. There is a peace that passes all understanding, in the spiritual realm. I am in a vortex, completely centered in the middle, where the storm surrounds me, but I am fixed and unmovable. No fear, no worry, no harm, and a happiness and a CRAZY sustaining joy that fills me and pours to my children is continually present. We are good. What would make things GREAT is if my ex could be kind and speak kind words about me.
Something GREAT happened yesterday. Just as we were about to start school my ex (Eric) showed up at our front gate. WE TALKED FOR 3 HOURS! He cried and told me what a fuck up he was and how he sees now how he missed it. He covered his mouth and said, “now that I’m divorced I cuss a little!” I laughed, he laughed and I said, “me too!” Needless to say he cried and cried a lot. I told him, “Eric, you missed it, yes! But the amazing thing, is that you see it and now you can simply change directions.” I told him not to allow guilt to come over him. Guilt is NOT serving. It’s better to simply see where you’ve missed it, change course, and MOVE in a new positive direction. He promised to not talk poor about me anymore to the kids and he promised not to harass me via text and phone. I promised to unblock him from my phone. It’s been 24 hours and not one call or text from him (I’m impressed!) We talked about co-parenting and wanting to be on the same page as our kids, and believe it or not, we agree, how wonderful that is!
Once upon a time, I loved Eric very much. Once upon a time I believed silly religious teachings just like Eric. I MOVED away from Eric when I decided I no longer wanted to live like the Duggars. I MOVED away from Eric when chose a new religion. My new religion of LOVE has opened spiritual and physical realms to me, that I never knew existed. I am not in a box anymore, I am completely OUTSIDE the box moving and walking in FREEDOM! Freedom to love EVERY BODY no matter the color or sexual orientation. There is NO pain, blame or shame towards Eric. He did the best he knew how to do at the time. I am THANKFUL. Did I waste 23 years of my life being married to Eric? I don’t think it’s ever a waste of time to LOVE. Thank you Eric.