As I hope to be an encouragement to you during the week, I also think you should know a little about me. So I had a moment this morning as I got an awesome idea from the universe where I just yelled and said, “YES, THANK YOU!” The idea is Sunday Reflections. I will just share a little about what I’ve been thinking the last week.
So, I’m divorced, you didn’t know that? Well, you do now. I filed for divorce 11 months ago after being married 22 years. I have nothing poor to speak of my ex-husband. He did the best he knew how to do at that time in his life.
We lived our entire marriage in poverty. What is poverty? Making 10-18K a year with 7 kids, in America. That’s poverty. When he got ready for kid #8, (because birth control is a sin), I got ready to leave. And leave I did.
How was our marriage? If you asked that to the both of us, we would both say it was very good! I was born to be a wife and mother! There is nothing more I enjoyed than pleasing my husband, caring for our children, and tending to a home. What is there more fulfilling than being a homemaker? For me, there is nothing.
As the kids got older they knew there was something wrong. How come we never have any money? How come I’m 12 and have to work and buy everything I need from tampons to socks? How come grandma and grandpa send us checks every month? How come dad is home everyday?
A wife covers for her husband…she wants her children to see the best in their father! But as my girls matured, they began to resent me for always siding with their father. They saw skewed roles. Eric was the leader and I backed him up completely because, well that’s what a wife does. Many times throughout our marriage I tried to get us help (with his permission and approval) but the help was always “from satan, or they were gay,” things like that.
You’ve heard the saying, “it takes 2 to tango!” Well, I TAKE EQUAL SHARE in our divorce. I only knew Eric for 2 weeks before I said, “I do.” And then 6 months later we were married. Our religion taught us, “get married young and have lots of kids.’ When all your friends are part of the church and friendship with those outside of the church is discouraged, well, you just go with the flow. It’s much easier to look at every body else and figure they are in error, rather than stand back and examine your own life.
You could read this and figure, “oh, it’s all his fault.” Or you could read this and figure it’s all my fault. I have resolved to put the blame on no one. LOVE doesn’t have to blame. LOVE exceeds pain, blame, and shame. It is what it is, we both did the best we knew how to do at the time.
GIVING, GIVING and GIVING MORE…
My second reflection is my Childbirth Classes. I had to borrow money for my childbirth classes…it sucked! I had to borrow money for a midwife 3 times and the 4th one was paid for in full by my mom cause we didn’t have a dime (a slight indication we shouldn’t have had more children…but I get it now…hey, better late than never!)
I never want a woman to go without help because of lack of funds. I’ve been there most of my life and it's horrible, horrible, horrible! I am so THANKFUL to be able to help other women that I NEED TO GIVE BACK what I’ve been given. If you are a woman with no money or if you know of a woman or couple who needs help, then please contact me, because I am so wanting to help!
Getting out of poverty, lack and depression…
My third reflection. The easiest way to move out of lack is to help someone else! If you don’t have money, you have time. If you don’t have time, you sure have some money. If you really have neither, make a sandwich and bring it to your nearest homeless person. Sit down and listen to them. We have to be a GIVING people! Every single person on this planet has a heart. We all bleed, we all have family that we love, we all have problems and sorrow at some point. Moving away from “us” to help someone else is the simplest, easiest way to get your mind off of you and on to enriching someone else. When we REPEAT this with consistency…watch how our own life begins to bloom with abundance!
THANK YOU for allowing me to share my Sunday Reflections or better put Sunday Ramblings.
p.s. Thankfulness, it is our very foundation! How do you BECOME thankful if you're not? Just do it! Don’t read a book on it, don’t watch a video on it. Just DO IT!!! Speak with your mouth…”thank you god or universe or just say thank you out loud for your heart, your eyes, your sense of touch, your ears, the grass, the sky, sit outside and look for a bird…study his form, his color his song. SO MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR!